Book Review: Persuasion – The Art of Getting What You Want by Dave Lakhani

Persuasion vs. manipulation: the differences reside on the intentions. Manipulation usually works in the short term and in inwardly focused on the outcome for the person doing the manipulation. 4 most important elements of manipulation: 1. seeking a solution, 2. time sensitivity, 3. potential for loss, and benevolent authority. Persuasion is externally focused on developing a win-win outcome where everyone’s needs are met.

Persona gives you persuasiveness structure and support. 3 elements of persona: 1. appearance, 2. voice and communication skills (ref. Speak to Influence by Susan Berkeley) (speak from your facial mask to project as in humming, smile, vary your voice), 3 positioning: manners and mannerism. The power behind developing your persona is in guiding your audience to the conclusions you want them to draw and in getting them to trust you, respect you, and value you before you say a word.

Transferring power and credibility: can be active or implied, if from a respected or trusted person to you enhance your ability persuade, can happen in person or through testimonials. Give to receive.

Storytelling: Steps to persuasive story:
1. Know your story.
2. Lay out your story: a. grab me by the ears, b. lay the foundation, c. engage my emotions, d. layer on the proof, e. answer my questions, f. give me enough information that I can draw your conclusion, g. get my feedback.
3. Tell your story. Have an interesting hook like a question. Tells them in chunks.
When you put your story together be sure to answer the questions of what, why, when, where, and who. Successful stories shift the criteria of the person you are persuading.

Gurudom: Being relevant is the single most important key to being a well recognized guru. Become an expert in 30 days:
1. Determine your area of expertise.
2. Thoroughly study your subject matter. Practice for 1000 hours.
3. Begin to develop opinions.
4. Share you opinions and original ideas.
5. Write a book, an article, or a white paper, create an audio book.
6. Get your own radio program.
7. Write a blog.
8. Promote yourself.

Desire to believe:

  • Understanding what the beliefs are of the people you are trying to persuade allows you to focus on building on their current beliefs than trying to change them or create a new belief.
  • People are most likely to change their beliefs when they are searching for a solution to a problem that has caused them stress, concern, or confusion. Emotional release allows themt o create new beliefs quickly.
  • You must present new ideas with conviction and credibility to create an environment where the new ideas can be accepted.
  • Everyone wants to believe in something and it is the job of the persuader to position the idea that the people being persuaded can believe in and make their own.

1. We tend to like and trust people who are like us.
2. Familiarity breeds trust.
3. Always get to know something about every person you hope to persuade.
4. Try to move all of your persuasive conversations from a shared commonality to a new shared experience that you’ll create together.

Exclusivity and availability:
1. The more exclusive you can make someone feel, the more likely that they are to be persuaded.
2. Exclusive groups are easier to persuade than generic groups.
3. Exclusivity is one of the keys to building a cult, whether a cult of customers or of brands.
4. Exclusivity is closely tied to identity. Reinforce the tie between people’s identities and the exclusivity and you move them much more quickly and easily to your point of view.

1. Create curiosity wherever you can; curiosity is the oil that greases the wheels of change.
2. To create curiosity ask good questions; directly question assumptions and beliefs.
3. Remember that when people are curious change is possible.
4. The purpose of curiosity is for you to direct the discovery of new information that will help others make the only logical decision they can. .. and one you want them to make.

Relevancy: If you are relevant to me it is because you know something about me and the more you know about me the more familiar you feel.

Permission Granting: Giving permission encourages people to take the actions you want them to take. Permission gives absolution.

The quick persuaders: 1. Social matching (others are doing the same). 2. Concurrence (agreement in opinion). 3. Empathy, 4. Inconsequence (getting to accept little ideas so that the big idea is whittled down to an acceptable size). 5. Likeability. 6. Giving to receive. 7. Accountability.

The Persuasion Equation: Position + Presentation x influence = Persuasion.

Persuasive Selling:
I – Identify qualified prospects
S – Start your story
E – Educate, answer, and encourage.
L – Lead them to their best decision.
L – Let them buy.

Six tenets of persuasion:
1. Outcome based.
2. Best-interest focused.
3. Truthful
4. Goal and time oriented.
5. Personal
6. Ethical.

This book is a gold mine. I’ve learned quite a few things. I particularly like the positioning and the story telling. The author was persuasive with his story of growing up in a cult.Very useful and persuasive!