Book Review: “Who’s Got Your Back” by Keith Ferrazzi

I picked up this audiobook after reading his “Never Eat Alone” book. This is like a sequel to that book. Instead of superficial networking relationship he touted in the “Never Eat Alone” book, the author went deep on finding the lifeline relationships. This is a definitely a more impactful book than the earlier book. I enjoyed listening to it. The summary is as follows:

The 4 mindsets of creating a foundation for lifeline relationships:
1. generosity. Author touched on this in “Never Eat Alone.” Goes both way: give and let give.
2. Vulnerability: letting your guard down. 8 steps to instant intimacy: 1. create an authentic environment around you. 2. suspect your prejudices, 3. project the positive, 4. share your passions, 5. Talk about your goals and dreams, 6. Revisit your past. 7. What’s keeping your up at night? 8. Future fears.
3. Candor: the freedom to be totally honest with those you confide in. 1. Find people you respect, 2. create the opportunity, 3. make it clear any feedback you get is a gift. 4. acknowledge your faults, 5. Tell the other person what you plan to do with the advice. 6. Don’t tell them what you want to hear. 7. Ask specific questions, 8. Take it or leave it – but deliver on safety. 9. Paying them back.
4. Accountability: action of following through on your promise.

Building your dream team:
1. Articulate your vision.
2. Find your lifeline relationships. 4 C’s considerations: commitment, comprehension (know-how), chemistry, and curiosity and diversity.
3. Practice the art of the long slow dinner.
4. Broaden your goal-setting strategy.
5. Create your personal success wheel. consists of deep relationships, professional growth, financial success, physical wellness, intellectual stimulation, spirituality, and giving back.
6. Learn to fight! Sparring ground rules: 1. safety first, 2. owning the process, 3. the Socratic method 101, 4. the receiver owns the process and inputs, 5. Don’t pull any punches, 6. leave ample time for thoughtful listening. 4 R’s of listening: removed (talking over), reactive (heard but not mulling over), responsible (talking to), receptive (empathizing fully).
7. Diagnose your weaknesses. 1. Turn the mirror o yourself. 2. Try to learn lessons from your role models, 3. Ask other people.
8. Commit to improvement.
9. Fake it till you make it – then make it stick.

Make it your life: the tactics, strategies, and structures – from formal organizations to do-it-yourself peer groups – that help you stay the course.
Benefits of formal peer support groups: 1. momentum, 2. structure, 3. peer pressure, 4. self-selection, 5. diversity.
Do it yourself meeting agenda: 1. reaffirm group vows (5 mins), 2. professional/personal check-ins (personal and professional successes and challenges) (3 mins/person, 20 minutes total), 3. spotlight (20 mins), 4. sparring (30 mins), 5. “I might suggest” (15 mins). 6. Group issues (10 mins), 7. Review and setting of commitments (3 mins each, 20 mins total).

The Greenlight Method of building peer-supported teams within companies: 1. make the case. 2. raise the stakes, 3. bond over the Barbarians at the Gates, 4. Dial up the intimacy, 5. Dig deeper in the now. 6. Getting candid.

A good chapter on team selling at the end.

I like the poem given by the author at his dad’s funeral:
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breath easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.